Taoism: Shit happens.
                 Hare Krishna: Shit happens, rama rama ding ding.
                      Hinduism: This shit happened before!
                            Islam: If shit happens, take a hostage.
                 Zenbuddhism: What is the sound of shit happening?
                         Atheism: There is no such thing as shit.
                      Buddhism: When shit happens, is it really shit?
                 Confucianism: Confucius says: Shit happens.
            7th day adventist: Shit happens on saturdays.
                 Protestantism: Shit won't happen if I work harder.
                    Catholicism: If shit happens, I deserve it.
             Jehova's witness: Knock, knock; "Shit happens!"
                        Mormon: Shit happens again and again and again....
                       Unitarian: What is this shit?
             Fundamentalism: If shit happens, read your bible.
                        Marxism: Workers! Let's stand united and fight against all this shit!
                           Deism: God created this shit, but where is he now?
                         Judaism: Why does this shit always happen to me...?
                    Sekularism: Religious shit and social shit mustn't be mixed together!
                         Sikhism: No matter how much shit happens, I'll never cut my hair.
                      Livets ord: Fill our bag with money, or god's son, Ulf Ekman, will shit on you!
                       Satanism: To hell with all this shit!
                      Voodoism: Shit will happen to you when we put needles in a fetisch.
                         Nazism: Our brains are full of shit, that's why we're so stupid.
                           Vegan: If shit happens to animals, don't eat it.
                     Anti-vegan: If shit happens to animals, I'll be the first to wear it.
                Militant vegan: We will make shit happen to Scan.
                   Freudianism: If shit happens to you, blame it on your childhood.
                              CSN: If shit happens, YOU will be the last to know!
                 Existensialism: What is shit anyway?
                    Agnosticism: Maybe shit happens, maybe it doesn't.
                          Realism: Shit happens several times and finally you die.
                     Murphyism: If shit can happen, it surely will.
                       Platonism: There is an ideal shit happening somewhere.
                        Cynicism: Of course shit happens!
                        Ocultism: Shit materializes from other planes of existence.
                       Terrorism: Shit will happen to you unless you do as we say!
                      Puritanism: S*** can happen all the time as long as you don't call it that.
                      Surrealism: Purple shit happens in front of melting clocks.
                       Optimism: If shit happens, we'll find a way to use it!
                       Pessimism: If shit happens, I bet there won't be enough for everybody.
     Tabloid sensationalism: Green shit from mars happens to Elvis clone.
                    Bureaucracy: I don't care if shit happens or not, just fill out the form!
                        Socialism: If shit happens, let's distribute it equally.
                  Conservatism: Shit nowadays doesn't happen like it used to do!
              Microcomputing: If shit happens, we'll fix it in the next version.
                 Anti-microsoft: If shit happens, blame it on Bill Gates.
                        Teenager: Asså, ja ba' shit happens, typ.
                 Rastafarianism: Aw, let's just smoke this shit!!!